pinky swear

Are you a good friend? Take a moment to think about it. What makes a good friend?

A friend can be many things. Some we term our “best friend(s)”, one you tell every secret to, can brag about your successes and cry about your failures, yet your friend does not judge you, but is always there for support either way. Best friends are usually numbered in the single digits and we have less than a few of them. I mean, it does take work, time, a really good ear, to be a good friend, especially a best friend, so you can’t be expected to be there for all of your friends in the same way, unless you have supernatural powers or something.

friendshipAfter our best friends come our other “fabulous, but not quite at best status, friends”. I have been blessed with many of these, and as I age I tend to find more and more like minded people I like to be around. Many of these are mom friends, coworkers, or old friends that we reconnect with over time. I even have family members that fit in here, that I really love as family, and as a friend. We also have our “acquaintances”. Acquaintances may be friends of friends we have met, or family members of friends, or really good people you meet anywhere. Sometimes these acquaintances move up the friend hierarchy as time goes on and you connect on new levels, and sometimes our acquaintances drift away too, to once again become strangers.

I also have a new type of friend, people from within my mom community. I started Mom Cafe almost 2 years ago and it has grown into a bigger and more amazing community than I could have imagined. The members are my go to for advice and support. This community has rallied together to help those in need during holiday seasons, victims of fire and accidents, and on so many other occasions collaborated to provide goodness to others. Everyone encourages positivity and uniting of a community and support for each other. Although I do not know all of these people personally, many are faithful followers that comment and it makes me feel like I know them, and some having already made a place in my heart. These people really contribute to making the community a great place, and are another sort of “friend”.

All of the above make my bubble a really happy place.

What happens when friendships go bad? I have had a few and of recent… and over very trivial things. You either get past it, or you go your separate ways. Over the last year I have learned the most about this I think, and sometimes they are tough lessons. I pretty much open my heart to every cause and facilitate whenever I can. One of the my downfalls is I jump at every opportunity to help, friend or foe, and sometimes feel exploited in the process. The people who I have most often helped are the ones who have disappeared. This used to make me feel under-appreciated, but I have now decided instead of dwelling and putting negative energy on why this happens, to take this as a part of life’s path and perhaps we are meant to be there for a small part of the journey for some individuals when they need us and then go our separate ways. I will no longer differentiate as to how we valued the friendship in the past, present, or future, but sum it up to we change, we grow, we move on. Hopefully those people will serve similar roles to others when needed.

april and jenn
Jenn and me

I am always learning and growing, but I have discovered you can’t make everyone happy and everyone isn’t going to like you. If you have to struggle to make a friendship work, then is it really worth it? Disagreements aside (we are all opinionated are we not?!?), if you just no longer “like” the person, maybe you aren’t meant to be friends. There is no point in pretending. Friendships should come naturally and be a positive experience for those involved. I like to think I am a good friend to my friends and most are accepting of my quirks as I am of theirs. None of us are perfect. I think we need to take more time to thank all the good people in our lives for everything they do, and sometimes this is where we all falter. Trying to fit everything in to our busy life schedules in this day and age is tough, but I think those close to your heart know how you feel and appreciate every effort made. Sometimes it is nice to step back and really acknowledge and be grateful for having a bubble at all, and that we can control how this bubble is shaped. Keep your bubble happy.

Do you have a friend whom your really appreciate? Being blessed with one bestie who has always remained at the top, I want you to treat you and your BFF to lunch! Take some time to tell them how much you appreciate them! Enter to win a $50 gift card to treat them to lunch below. Open to residents of Canada. Good luck!

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