Breast vs Bottle. Sleep training. Car seat debates. Potty training. Finger pointing. Mommy wars.
My kid is the cutest. My kid is the smartest. My kid is better than your kid.
My opinions on parenting are right and yours are wrong. I’m not judging you, but I’m not NOT judging you either.
I’m over it. All of it. Done. Finito. No more room for any of it.
Are you thinking WTF at this point? Allow me to explain.
This week my friends over at BLUNTmoms hit a huge milestone – One Million hits on their site in 7 days!! Something to be hugely proud of. This accomplishment came as they transitioned the site to cover more topics that are relevant to the writers, and to the readers who have been there since the beginning. Growing with the audience – it’s fantastic!
It’s a smart move and I imagine will continue to be well received. Our kids aren’t babies anymore. We are so over being a “Mommy”. We have graduated to “Mom”, a little older and a lot wiser. Still lots to learn but we recognize that we will always be winging it in some way or another. We realize how hilarious (and sometimes ridiculous) we probably sounded at times, when our offspring were younger and could do no harm. We knew everything and our kids were everything. We judged without realizing we were doing it. Compared our children to yours. And if an aspect of our parenting was even mildly questioned, the defensive mommy-claws would come out in full force.
We have now reached a point where our life doesn’t revolve around kids 24/7. We are able to see that even our own children aren’t perfect, our parenting isn’t perfect and all these “mommy-wars” are completely ridiculous. Best of all, we can once again think about and do other things without feeling mommy-guilt in the pit of our stomachs. Hallelujah!
I always enjoyed reading and participating in the mommy community as a whole, however over the last couple years, I have been feeling more disconnected from parenting sites. My kids are getting older. They are becoming more self-sufficient with each day. They don’t need “Mommy” anymore – they walk to school, play outside, make their own basic meals and snacks, do their chores, entertain themselves, and even put themselves to bed – all without needing any assistance from an adult (not that I don’t ever assist them, but you get the idea). My husband and I can even confidently go out shopping or to grab a bite to eat without needing to arrange a sitter.
Basically, we’ve hit the next stage. It was bound to arrive. I was expecting it.
What I wasn’t expecting was how I would feel.
I fully thought that with these stages I would feel nostalgic for earlier days, maybe even a bit sad. That’s is exactly how most of the younger stages went. I’m THAT mom who cried when her son turned 5 – just because she felt 5 was “big”.
Lately something is different. I seem to be really embracing these changes. I feel excited for what their future brings and I actually enjoy sitting on the sidelines, witnessing their independence flourish. My perspective has changed, my cares and priorities are much different, and I have completely shed that fear of judgement that hung over me when the kids were younger. That constant but somewhat sub-conscious worry that someone was always disagreeing with the way I chose to parent and raise my children.
Today, I say F-it! I don’t care about that anymore. Not one bit.
While I will always be the Mother of two children, to whom I will of course always offer support and gentle guidance, and the Mom that I hope they feel they can count on to be here whenever needed, I have officially retired my “Mommy” title. And it feels amazing.
Someone once told me “you can’t have mommy without me (mom-me)”… I’m excited to get some of “me” back. 😉